just dont stand there and watch me fall...

i think you died before reaching me
i think our paths never crossed because something happened in the way to my arms...
i know you were put on this earth for me
you were created just for me...
to please me
with the right kisses,
the right touch,
the perfect smile,
the most amazing eyes...
everything i ever dreamed of in a man you had
your voice, your walk, your clothes, your smell
the way you would have hold me
the way you would have come around in the middle of the night just cause you missed me
the way you would have asked for my forgiveness
the way you would have brought me breakfast to bed
the way you would have ALWAYS let me hold the remote
the fact that with you i would have never felt lonely
the fact that you would have given me that advice i needed
the fact that my man would have been the most amazing!
the plans we would have accomplished
the perfect wedding
my last kiss...my first love, my only love
the cherry on top!
but im sure your not here anymore...
i can no longer feel any hope of ever meeting you
i cant feel you at all anymore
i once had the certainty that you were out there
waiting for me as well, wishing id come running
i once had high hopes for this...our love
but i just know that somewhere along the way
i ran out of luck with you...
and was that luck, or destiny, or a higher power decided to take u away
am i supposed to fight harder?
am i supposed to chase a star all the way to you?
am i supposed to vanish too?
or am i supposed to roam alone...
alone like ive always been until im just dust and light and wishful thinking and high hopes again...till we meet again?
i swear i know your face...
i swear id recognize your voice anywhere!!!
i swear ive felt your hands and your warm breath before!!!!
i swear i need you
i swear i miss you...
are you supposed to be my angel now?
is this so called "angel" supposed to end this misery?
is this angel merciful enough to let me know im not supposed to be waiting anymore???
angel...my angel...
im sorry you never reached your destiny
im sorry we never met
im sorry i never got to tell you how long i've been waiting for you
im sorry you can only hear me whisper now how much i love you...

empowerment mantra

i am super woman
i can shoot bullets and arrows!

i am super woman
i know i can throw mean punches and kicks

i am super woman
i can handle a gun

i am super woman
i drive a stick

i am super woman
i never go down without a fight...

i am whenever nobody else is...
and will never fade away!!!

my version

like eyes adjusting to the light
it took a while for me to wrap my head
around what happened
you never wanted my wings to spread wide open
i was made to be free
you never saw who i really was
i was born to shine
you with your captivating smile and deceivous hands...
youwith your empty words and your sarcastic looks
you with your lying face and your acid tongue...
your prision
your shakles
your lack of vision!
your complaining
your over protecting
and your disgusting imposition!
your constant sorrow
your never ending blues
and your silly and non consequential intuition!!!
so many stupid quirks making it unbearable and non essential to be near you
so many nights i wasted
so many unheard whispers
my sighs so full of sorrow
my tears so full of sadness
my lack of laugh
the excessive tossing and turning
in the empty bed that never got what it deserved

i understand...

those words i never got to hear
those dreams that never came true
those few glimpses of happiness
those visions of a better life...
all those things missing in my life right now
what you took away from me
what you stole and hide
who you became
who you once were
that person i thought i once knew and loved
must have definitely been another place and time
a world where i didn't belong
rose-colored and kinda perfect
full of everything i ever wanted
always the perfect amount of light out the window
how silly can we get...
how easy we forget...
how hard to face reality...
now that it really hurts
now that it really blurs
now that it's really missed
NOW i understand...