awesome

so many things i wished i could have left behind me...so many
i've thought to be carrying long enough for my 30 years!
so many things i find myself still learning, still hurting,
cringing away from...
so many memories crawling they way back in, though i
thought of them far gone by now.
the fears i thought i'd conquered
the monsters id thought as of vanquished
the battles that have been won
the memories supposed to be lost in oblivion
the tears dried up in the sun and warmth of my better days...
the pain, the ache, the burning, the yearning...
all the sobbing and all those holes in my chest...
the cuts, gashes and scrapes...
so many things i've been through!
never thought of myself as this "ancient" before...
never thought of being this "wise"
this "tough"
this "unfortunate" in some matters...specially those that
require maturity
i truly cant watch past the day i´m living...neither do i
want to.
but i sure can take a long hard look at my past
so many things indeed...
people, things, feelings...so much time!!!
i´ve never given much thought to time before...or at least
not like this.
not feeling this proud and self conscious at the same time
at least.
turns out...i´m a freaking survivor!!!
a warrior who earned her medals and honors
an escape artist full of neat tricks
an attorney specialized in saving lost causes
a mack truck able to endure the toughest road!
a fast car flying through the deepest forest
an unstoppable force of nature
hurricane...no
tornado...no, no
thunderstorm!!!!!!!
mighty, scary at times, but absolutely luring and
awesome!!!
i turned out to be that who i dreamed of...awesome
wow...